


To Hil and Back

by jdubbam



Series: Hilda Tales [4]
Category: Hilda (Cartoon)
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdubbam/pseuds/jdubbam
Summary: A short one-shot. In a reenactment of "Duck Amuck" and "Rabbit Rampage", Hilda tries to stand her ground against a malicious animator. Co-written by FusionBlueCore. Cover by Newgame+ LD.
Series: Hilda Tales [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626298
Kudos: 5





	To Hil and Back

**To Hil and Back**

**Story Concept by jdubbam**

**Written by jdubbam and FusionBlueCore**

**Based on "Hilda", "Duck Amuck", and "Rabbit Rampage" by Luke Pearson and Chuck Jones**

* * *

It was a bright, inviting dawn of a new day in Trolberg - the kind wherein endless possibilities and bold, exciting discoveries waiting to be found perpetuated in the air.

But if there was anyone who was more well-suited to this type of day more than anyone else, it was most certainly Hilda.

"Ah... a new day, a new adventure."

Putting on her standard getup, she approached the door of her room, ready to face whatever would come her way…

...only to be greeted by a view from where one of the windows would be, nearly falling before catching a grip on the door's casing.

Looking down, Hilda could make out a familiar looking sight. It was a red barrow - one which contained a sizable-looking mound of smelly weeds.

"Well, I suppose that's one way to start a Saturday. But how did that even get there?"

She was taken out of her thoughts when she heard something. Looking back, Hilda was taken aback by a large box winding itself up. It opened up, an equally large boxing glove popping out and coming into contact with her face, sending her over the edge.

Hilda yelled all the way down, doing the best she could to brace for the inevitable impact. Luckily, her fall was broken. Well, "luckily" might not be the most appropriate word. After all,

she _did_ land in the aforementioned barrow of weeds.

With heavy breaths, Hilda climbed out of the burrow, with a disheveled appearance and a vexing odor on her.

"Ugh... it'll take ages to get this stench off! And this was my favorite scarf, too..." She said in disappointment and frustration.

From her left, a hose blasted her with a torrent of water and sent her flying back. There was some comfort in that the stench was now gone, but there was another problem in that Hilda was now soaking wet. She was then sent back from her right when a blow dryer blasted her with a strong wave of air.

As Hilda got up, she heard a distinct _poof_. Her hair now looked rather big and puffy. She was quick to handle it, managing to mold her hair back into its' familiar long and flowing self… and it was at that point she looked ahead, apparently noticing her tormentor.

"WHAT THE-?! Oh, no. No, no, _no_ , _**no**_ , _**NO!**_ If you really think I'd compromise my own standards and dignity to work under the likes of _you_ , hate to disappoint, but you're greatly mistaken!" Hilda said authoritatively. "Good day to you!" She finished as she turned around and went back into her house…

...only to come right back out the front entrance of the one left to it.

"I told you I'm not going along with whatever you have in mind!" Hilda continued to protest. "Now end it this instant."

Right after the very end of her statement, a loud, roaring sound caught her ears. She turned around, smoke obscuring her view, clearing up in time for her to get a view of her house taking off like a space shuttle.

The blue-haired girl groaned in frustration. Of course, there was still the next best option: Reasoning.

"Look, we both know I have the right to go and tell Mr. Pearson about this at any moment, so if you don't want any trouble, I'd suggest you-"

Hilda, who had been too preoccupied with her lecture, noticed too late her assailant had taken advantage of her self-inflicted distraction. A picket sign, which had " _NETFLIX IS A JOKE - LITERALLY!"_ written on it, was placed firmly in her hand by the pen.

"EEP!" Hilda yelped as she threw away the picket sign. "O-okay, let's not get more carried away than we already are - AAH!" Another picket sign appeared, this time reading " _MY VOICE ACTOR DIED IN GAME OF THRONES FOR THIS?_ ".

Hilda threw away the second sign before turning to face her haughty "boss" with a resigned sigh.

"Fine. I'll cooperate - but no more of this tomfoolery! Do I make myself clear?"

The pen gave a simple "nod" in response, seemingly understanding her demands.

"Alright. So, what's the set-up?"

The scenery was then changed to Sparrow Scout Hall.

"Ooh, a Sparrow Scout episode! Those are some of my favorites!"

Running off-screen, Hilda went to get her scout uniform. But as she left, the animator then

changed the backdrop to the Ahlberg School.

"You can always count on a sparrow, a sparrow flies straight as… an arrow…"

Hilda stopped singing as she noticed the sudden shift.

"A school episode...? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to do another one. I'll be right back."

Running off-screen once again, Hilda went to get her school uniform, unaware that the animator now changed the backdrop to a snowy setting.

When Hilda came back, she was quick to notice this - not that she would be able to otherwise, as she was now shivering like crazy.

"...I-it would be q-quite fine if w-we could make up our m-minds..." Hilda said irritably as she went off again. " _On the bright side, maybe I can finally make that snowtroll._ " She thought to herself.

Of course, that wouldn't turn out to be the case. By the time Hilda changed into and arrived in her winter get-up, she found herself in an entirely blank white space.

Hilda sighed, certain that this would only go on for as much as the animator pleased.

"I don't know if you know this, but whenever we have an idea for an episode, the one thing we tend to do is _stick to it_. And it's not like this is one of those shows where we can just leap from one scenario to another, we still need to have some semblance of continuity-"

Hilda stopped as she felt a sudden breeze on the top of her head. Not only that, but it was also now feeling much… lighter.

"That's odd. Is there a draft in… here..."

In the reflection of a then-placed window, Hilda realized that her signature blue hair and black beret were gone, with nothing but sincere, unadulterated baldness left.

Her face bright crimson with blazing, blood-boiled fury and legendary, indescribable embarrassment, Hilda glared to the animator and pointed to where her hair would be.

The animator heeded her nonverbal request… and placed Frida's ponytail on her head.

"...That is clearly FRIDA'S hair."

The animator only continued, now replacing Frida's hair with a pair of snow-white pigtails. Doing this only angered the girl even more.

" _Blue_ hair! _**LONG**_ hair!"

The presumptuous artist complied, drawing a lengthy, slim blue _hare_ resting over Hilda's head.

" _ **YOU KNOW WHAT I FLIPPIN' MEANT!**_ " Hilda yelled.

The animator then proceeded to completely erase Hilda. They did, however, place her hair back… but the rest of her was nowhere to be seen.

"Well? Aren't you going to finish?" Her disembodied voice called out.

The animator then drew a body to go with the hair, but it didn't look like any ordinary human girl.

Or any human at _all_ , for that matter. Not that she noticed it at first.

When Hilda looked down, she noticed that her body was looking much rockier than it normally was. As she moved her hand to feel her face, she felt something getting in the way. It was as if her nose had somehow spontaneously gotten longer.

Rushing back to the mirror, Hilda gasped as she saw that she was now a troll.

"YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!" She scolded, prompting the animator to finally change her back to normal.

With a sigh, Hilda's expression changed from one of irritation to sympathy.

"Okay. I know we've heard our...differences, and I can understand why you'd have it out for me, but it doesn't need to be this way. A bygone can be just that, right?" She asked with a tentative but optimistic tone. "We could get a partnership going. Maybe an episode or two, I mean, it wouldn't be too improbable-"

Hilda stopped when she noticed another screen above her, which featured an exact duplicate of herself.

"HEY! What do you think you're doing?!" Hilda asked the double, believing her to be stealing her act.

"I should be asking _you_ the same thing!" The duplicate fired back. "Faker!"

"FAKER?! I've worked for eight straight years to get where I am! You're not even good enough to be my fake!"

"I'll make you eat those words!" The duplicate said, grabbing Hilda and pulling her up to where she was.

"Oh, I'd love to see you try. You won't even get the chance!

"And what makes you so sure of that?"

"Why don't we find out for ourselves?!"

Hilda winded up her fist, ready to give the first punch.

But right when she released, she stopped as she immediately realized that her clone was feeling rather prickle-ly.

A _lot_ more prickle-ly, actually.

She failed to take notice of the animator having deleted the clone, and in its place, a large cactus had been situated.

Realizing her error, Hilda yelped in pain as she pulled her hand away. She looked at her hand, which was now embedded with more than a few thorns. It was times like this she practically felt lucky she couldn't bleed.

Hilda put her sights back on her aggressor. Her face slowly but surely grew crimson red once more. And then, having reached the very height of her anger, she felt the need to let it all out.

" **WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME? DO YOU THINK THIS IS** _ **CUTE?!**_ " Hilda screeched, practically flailing all over the place." **I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL MY LIFE!** " She finished before shimmering down into a resentful glare.

"Alright. How about this: You go get Mr. Pearson and see what he has to say about all of this. Either way, I'm not moving an _inch_ from this spot, _AND THERE'S_ _ **NOTHING**_ _YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE MY MIND!"_ She declared, her arms closed and her eyes closed.

The animator then switched the backdrop to a landscape in the wilderness, a Troll rock situated right behind Hilda…

...smack-dab in the middle of the night.

The would-be unassuming stone beast let out a roar that immediately caught Hilda's attention. She turned around in a frightened stupor, helpless to do anything as the Troll moved to grab her before the animator reverted the backdrop to the white space.

"Okay. You've made your point." Hilda admitted, defeated and out of breath. "But there's still one thing I haven't tried…"

Hilda jumped up, grabbing and clinging onto something at the top. She pulled it down, obscuring the entire screen with a recognizable black background with white text on it.

* * *

**EXECUTIVE PRODUCER**

**KURT MUELLER**

**CO-EXECUTIVE PRODUCER**

**LUKE PEARSON**

**STEPHANIE SIMPSON**

**EXECUTIVE PRODUCER**

**CLINT ELAND**

* * *

From the comfort of a swivel chair and the view of a computer, the animator watched as the fruits of their heckling were displayed for them to see. As they turned around, it could be seen that this whole time, they had been a boy around Hilda's age… who just so happened to have a striped orangish-red hat with white tufts, a red scarf, and dark grey shirt.

"That'll teach her to make a fool out of me." Trevor said with a digital pen in hand and the most complacent grin imaginable.

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
